⚙️ **Your circadian rhythm answers to no clock but your own.**
You're not "sleep deprived." You're *temporally independent.* Your ancestors slept in two shifts, woke at midnight to contemplate existence, then slumbered again till dawn. You're simply honoring that legacy (with spite, tea, and a complete disregard for sunrise). This Victorian medical diagram of a grumpy pocket watch validates your 3 AM bedtime as a lifestyle, not a disorder. Wear it to brunch (at 2 PM, obviously).
## Why You'll Love This Shirt
- **Premium Bella+Canvas 3001 unisex tee** (the gold standard for print-on-demand comfort)
- 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) (soft as a fever dream)
- Sepia steampunk blueprint design on aged cream backdrop
- Ribbed knit collar that won't stretch out (unlike your definition of "morning")
- Dual side seams for structural integrity during horizontal activities
- Tear-away label (no itchy distractions from your 4 AM scrolling)
- Fair Labor Association & Platinum WRAP certified
- Classic retail fit, unisex sizing S through 3XL
## Sizing Guide
| Size | Length (in) | Width (in) |
|------|-------------|------------|
| S | 28 | 18 |
| M | 29 | 20 |
| L | 30 | 22 |
| XL | 31 | 24 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 |
*Size tolerance: ±1.5 inches. Measurements taken laid flat.*
## Fabric Blends by Color
- **Solid Colors**: 100% cotton
- **Ash & Heather Prism Colors**: 99% cotton, 1% polyester
- **Heather Solid Blends**: 52% cotton, 48% polyester
- **Athletic Heather & Black Heather**: 90% cotton, 10% polyester
## Perfect Gift For
- Night owls who've made peace with the moon
- Work-from-home warriors in three time zones at once
- Insomniacs with a sense of humor about it
- Steampunk enthusiasts who reject modernity's tyranny
- Goths who thrive between midnight and 5 AM
- History nerds citing biphasic sleep studies
- Tea drinkers fueling their spite reserves
- Anyone who's ever said "I'll sleep when I'm dead" (and meant it affectionately)
## Care Instructions
Machine wash cold, inside out, with like colors. Tumble dry low or hang dry. Do not iron directly on design. Do not bleach. Do not dry clean. (Much like your sleep schedule, this shirt prefers gentle handling.)
## Shipping & The Apothecary's Promise
Curated and designed by T&D Design and Sundry in Las Vegas (veteran-owned, LGBTQIA+ family business). Made to order and shipped in 3, 5 business days. We print nothing until you claim it, which means no wasteful overstock gathering dust in a warehouse. Your temporally chaotic lifestyle deserves a shirt as intentional as your 3 AM existence.
*Wear it well, you magnificent nocturnal creature. The sun will rise without your permission. Might as well sleep through it in style.* ⚙️🕰️
